Fat Tony is Dying, But He Still Talks

Just before Christmas, I went to the doctor’s office for my bi-annual check up.  I’m doing okay, but the doctor didn’t like the results of some of my blood work.  He said it’s nothing to be too concerned about, but he did say I was going to need to eat better and lose some weight.

Now, I already knew I needed to lose some weight; this didn’t come as a shock to me.  In fact, I could stand to lose about 25 lbs.  So starting on January 1st…

…Fat Tony had to die.

I’m down 11 lbs. since January 1st, so Fat Tony is slowly dying, but he still talks to me…a lot.

I drive a truck for a living, and sometimes I drive by Skyline Chili when I’m in the Cincinatti area.  As we pass, Fat Tony whispers in my ear…

“Go ahead and stop this wagon, pull the reigns and say Whoa!  Those homies inside are waiting for you, cuz they got food for your soul.  It’s almost 1:00, and you’ve been driving all day,  You’ll feel so much better, after a chili three way.”

Did I mention that Fat Tony sounds like Snoop Dogg when he talks?  Well, he does.  And sometimes he refers to himself in the third person…

“Dropping L. B’s. like Fat Tony drops rhymes, no one will notice if you eat donuts one time.  Take two iced cake donuts with the raspberry drizzle, They won’t let you down, cuz they is the shizzle.”

Lately, he’s been getting a little desperate.  And hostile…

“Open the fridge, you weight losing fool, Fat Tony is starving, and you’re being a tool!  If you can’t find a brownie, or Boston cream pie, just get a spoon and some Mayo, so Fat Tony don’t die!”

11 down.  14 to go.